Who Are We? Can We Change the Outcome? When Mentoring

Who Are We Mentoring
stephen hobbs

From the Desk of: 

Doug Lawrence
Director Education & Outreach  

Who are We?
Can We Change the Outcome?

A very interesting question wouldn’t you think? 

Is who we are, a product of our past?
I suppose you are likely thinking where is he going with this.

This particular question has been raised a number of times in my sphere of influence --- as a mentor --- over the past few weeks.

When you think back to your childhood years, do you see your behaviors today as having been shaped by what you saw or experienced in what we will call your development years.

For example:

  • If you lived in a family where alcohol was a predominant factor – does that mean that you will see that as acceptable behavior?
    With alcohol as a predominant factor in your early years, did you miss out on the guidance of a senior family member because of that? 
  • If you lived in a family where affection was not readily shared – and even more so in public, does that mean that you will see that as acceptable behavior?
    Will that have an influence on the partner you will try to find as your life mate or will you be able to change who you are? 
  • If you are in a relationship today or have just left one where it was not a relationship of equality but one where you were seen as the lesser participant – what impact does that have in shaping who you are today.
    What impact did that have on your mental health and mental well-being?

Sadly, these examples are not fictional examples, but are in reality actual situations that have taken place or are taking place today. 

The people that are entrenched in these examples all have behaviors that could be changed, if they could recognize the root cause and are willing to make the changes. In most cases, they know the answers to how to go about making the changes – they just need someone that will guide them through that path of discovery, someone to listen, someone to ask questions to continue the journey, someone that will not give them the answers.

There is no greater satisfaction and sense of accomplishment than to figure out the answer to a problem on your own. Better yet, to know that if it happens again you already know the answer – and even more so, you could likely prevent it from happening if you so desired.

So for these folks that are entrenched in these situations we see them as perhaps having low self-esteem, a lack of positive energy, absolving themselves of control over what they can control. They may well be teetering on the brink of a life filled with negativity, no sense of accomplishment and perhaps a huge dependence on social programs that do nothing to address the root cause of the problem.

  1. Can they change all of this?
  2. Would they want to?
  3. How could they make the changes that are needed to get their life back on track?
  • Can they change this – the answer is “YES”.
  • Would they want to – the answer to this is “YES” in the large majority of cases.
  • How could they make the changes that are needed – the changes can come by entering into a trusted relationship with a mentor

Sometimes it is about having that trusted confidante that you can share your deepest, darkest secrets, fears and emotions knowing that this information stays between the two of you!  

It is about having someone that believes in what you are capable of doing and who prompts you to think your way through things. They want to help you develop or enhance your “critical thinking skills”. These are skills that are so important for living life today – and sadly lacking. 

Consider

The mentor that you work with will be focused on your personal and professional growth. They will share in and celebrate your successes. They will also be there for you to help you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, before you take on that same challenge again with more determination!

You can change who you are if you so desire! Are you happy being a product of your earlier years? However you do have control over whether or not you look for the positives and become YOU- a unique and awesome person or you become someone that you do not know – perhaps a product of your past.

Inside each of us is the desire and willingness to be the best that we can be no matter how traumatic our earlier years may have been. Whether we have a void in those early years or not, we can still see through the fog and map out our journey to success – both personally and professionally all of which can be accomplished with a mentor as our guide.

The choice is yours! Consider the impact on YOU! Consider the impact on those around you!

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The International Mentoring Community guides you as an inspired practitioner - whether employee and/or entrepreneur - to become a mentor who delivers extraordinary mentoring experiences.

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